men are from mars

OK...I hate that I always come to you for the bad things, but this is something that I've been thinking about and I know I can be honest with you and you won't judge me.

I'm worried about the volatile nature of the relationship. I am deliriously happy with him 98% of the time. But he has a temper, and it shows. While the menacing aspect of his nature is something I am attracted to, I am also concerned about it because I'd be stupid not to.

I understand that you can't have the good without the bad. If I want the passion and intensity, the temper is the other side of that coin. And it's never violent, just a short burst of temper and then he calms down, or leaves the room, or takes a drive or whatever. There's no meanness, or hint of violence. I cannot stress that enough. I have never feared for the safety of myself, or anyone else, either directly or indirectly. He has never made me felt bad or threatened, or called me names or anything remotely like that. It's never directed at any person, and is less frequent over the 10 weeks I've known him. When he comes back from the other room or a drive he's fine, be it 5 minutes or 30. His overall demeanor has changed positively since we've met.

But the nature of our relationship, and his perception of my role in it, we're still working out. And by that I mean I'm still trying to understand his expectations, and not necessarily vice versa - because he already exceeds them. Which is starting to feel like he REALLY has the upper hand. Not that I feel like I have anything to complain about per se. He does so much for me, and expects so much in return, and that balance is going to get worse over time, if only financially.

This is the first time I have been so acutely aware of the chasm of difference between men and women. He is the most "typical" man I have ever been with in a lot of ways, but at the same time the most sensitive - in every sense of the word. He really sees a couple's sex life as a relationship barometer. It might as well be written on a calendar. And we have sex pretty much daily, sometimes more. He likes me to dress up, take me out, pamper me, but it doesn't seem to be about showing me off. (The difference is, he does it mostly for me, not for the benefit of others to see him do it.)

During one conversation the other day, he told me one of the things he noticed the first night was that I wasn't taking care of myself, i.e no jewelry, no painted toenails or fingernails, I wasn't really dressed nicely, etc. And he wondered why, because I'm so beautiful and sexy, etc. and he wants me to FEEL that way. He eventually reasoned out that it was because I never had anyone who would do those things for me, which is true, but doesn't explain anything in my mind! There was no way to explain to him that those things just aren't that important to me - it would have been a foreign concept to him. Chalk it up to the way I was raised, I don't know, I've always been a simple girl. I'll do it, because he likes it and it's important to him for me to put forth that effort, and because he gives me the luxury to do it.

Meaning, when I get home from work and all I have to do is make a cocktail (not even his, just one for me), take a shower, he cooks dinner, I provide company and conversation (of which there is no end), and hang out until he's ready to fuck me(and the occasional morning when I wake up in time, or randomly during the week on my lunch break), which good lord I would do anyway DAMN.

ME. So worried about impressing a man.

I suppose I'm just apprehensive that I'll move in, be fucked with my rental company, and he'll decide he gets to call the shots about everything, and I'll turn into some kind of automaton who doesn't leave the house without permission, never sees her friends, and just obeys orders. (Gulp.)