I am truly not an unhappy person. At worst, I would describe myself as content. This blog is an outlet to my rants I suppose, but overall, I am generally a cheerful kinda girl.
But there are things in my life I would like to change. Which mainly are about geography. And well within my own control, which is key to a problem/flaw's tolerability. No one to blame but myself for not doing anything about it.
But I would like to begin a campaign of positivity. My last trip has left me feeling a little depressed instead of the energized that usually occurs. And I cannot pinpoint why. I should be happy, having finally decided on a destination for my relocation. Perhaps it is the knowledge that I am not as close as I should be to crossing all the items off my list that must be crossed before I can actively start planning. Realizing how far away I am from it. And the buckle tightening that will have to occur to get there. Which means no more trips for a while.
It could be the realization, again, that I am not in a position to begin any type of relationship with anyone. My recent efforts have been testament to that, although I have tried to blame it on the fact that I haven't met anyone worth the effort. (I'll still go with a combination of the two, for my psyche's sake.)
More specifically, the realization that once again I will have to break things off with The Ex? How do you break up with someone you're not really with? Can I just phase him out? Is that acceptable? Don't I owe him more than that? Just because other people don't have manners doesn't mean my momma didn't raise ME better than that.
It's hard to come back to the real world.
So much for the campaign.
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