My fortune today:
"The current year will bring you much happiness." Sweet! I needed a little pick me up!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Don't use a lot where a little will do
First Thursday Email to FWB re: Upcoming Trip
(I am leaving Friday-Monday to go Out of Town to A City I Might Move To. Coincidentally, he will be flying into the same City on Monday for business. We will miss each other at the airport Monday by about 4 hours. Best Friend is traveling with me, but leaving from the Local Airport on Saturday.)
"I want you to take my car to the Local Airport on Monday when you leave, and park it there, so that Best Friend will have a vehicle when she gets off the plane Monday night.
So the plan is: I will leave the restaurant tonight, around 10pm and go home, cleaning my car on the way (that only means getting the trash out). After I go shopping in Lulu's closet and pick up my swimsuit from The Blonde's house - stops which both include an obligatory glass of wine - I will pack, which of course I have not even started, and don't even think I have a big enough suitcase. Then I will tidy my house, just b/c it's nicer to come home that way, and come over to your house, luggage and tickets in hand. Mind you, I plan to start drinking at the restaurant. We will have cocktails and maybe some lovin! I have to be still drunk when I get on the plane in the morning or I will have a panic attack. (Note to self: pack Lortabs.)
In the morning, my plane leaves The Airport at o'dawn thirty. We should leave two hours prior to o'dawn thirty? I have no idea what traffic will be like or really how far the airport is. Truth be told, I don't even know where the airport is. I will leave you my spare car key, which you will then use to drive my car to the Local Airport on Monday morning, leaving the key in the vehicle and unlocked and with relatively clear instructions on how to locate it. Btw, what time are you getting into The City? I had my and Best Friends' reservations mixed up - she leaves The City at 330 and I leave at 1pm. Bummer! Hopefully your plane will arrive early enough to meet up anyway. Best Friend will get on the plane to the Local Airport on Monday at 330, find my car, and drive to my house. I sure like to make things difficult don't I."
Second Thursday Email to FWB re: Eff That
"OK, I thought it through again and that is way too complicated. I'll just take my car to The Airport and leave it there. That way, I can pick Best Friend up b/c her flight gets in after mine regardless. Parking can't be that expensive, and it will save someone having to get me Monday night.
Blast it. I was looking forward to the company on the drive over.
....and I can still come over tonight....;-)"
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
One lost, ten found
Or when it rains it pours. I have a strong suspicion that men are subconsciously tuned in to the availability of a woman. It is uncanny. The word “exclusive” had barely left my lips and I was receiving dinner invitations, getting hit on in bars, and having random men ask for my phone number in record numbers. And not the type of men who I regularly attract, either. We’re talking “underwear model, high school quarterback hot.”*
And this new popularity is inclusive of men I already know. There are a few guys in my day to day life for whom I carry a small, minute torch** but nothing will (probably) ever happen. These men as well are drawn to the sense, or scent, or innate aura a woman who is unavailable carries instinctively.
My conscience dictated a return to the un-exclusive status quo with Friends-with-benefits. Things were moving too far, and I didn’t want to lead him on. I liked things to be “breezy.” The reality of it is this: every time I have been exclusive with a man it has been because I didn’t want to be with anyone else. In the beginning of a relationship, the honeymoon period if you will, the couple should find themselves actively not dating anyone else, and then make the decision together to continue not dating anyone else. I don’t believe monogamy is natural for most people. I think AT FIRST it is natural, and then it becomes a conscious decision you make ALL THE TIME. With this guy, I was still looking. And still am. I was not prepared for him to ask for more.
In gearing up for the conversation, a mere ten days after the wedding when The Declaration was initially made, it occurred to me that I hadn’t been that flustered or discombobulated about anything in eons. I seized the opportunity to act as a real, grown up and mature woman, had three glasses of wine, and told him that our arrangement “chafed” a little bit. He took it well. I didn’t lose the benefits, and it made me appreciate that he actually is dialed into my personality more than most of my SOs ever have been. And that includes the time I was married. The irony is that I haven’t slept with anyone else since his permanent return from The Sandbox. This is the most monogamous I’ve been in two years. I just want to keep my options open.
*not that attractive men don’t normally hit on me, but I usually gravitate away from the traditionally attractive types
** because I genuinely enjoy their company even when I know nothing will ever happen due to a work relationship, being in the friend zone, lack of compatibility, lack of chemistry, etc. But It’s always on the table with those types, because you must have mutual respect for any real companionship, right?
And this new popularity is inclusive of men I already know. There are a few guys in my day to day life for whom I carry a small, minute torch** but nothing will (probably) ever happen. These men as well are drawn to the sense, or scent, or innate aura a woman who is unavailable carries instinctively.
My conscience dictated a return to the un-exclusive status quo with Friends-with-benefits. Things were moving too far, and I didn’t want to lead him on. I liked things to be “breezy.” The reality of it is this: every time I have been exclusive with a man it has been because I didn’t want to be with anyone else. In the beginning of a relationship, the honeymoon period if you will, the couple should find themselves actively not dating anyone else, and then make the decision together to continue not dating anyone else. I don’t believe monogamy is natural for most people. I think AT FIRST it is natural, and then it becomes a conscious decision you make ALL THE TIME. With this guy, I was still looking. And still am. I was not prepared for him to ask for more.
In gearing up for the conversation, a mere ten days after the wedding when The Declaration was initially made, it occurred to me that I hadn’t been that flustered or discombobulated about anything in eons. I seized the opportunity to act as a real, grown up and mature woman, had three glasses of wine, and told him that our arrangement “chafed” a little bit. He took it well. I didn’t lose the benefits, and it made me appreciate that he actually is dialed into my personality more than most of my SOs ever have been. And that includes the time I was married. The irony is that I haven’t slept with anyone else since his permanent return from The Sandbox. This is the most monogamous I’ve been in two years. I just want to keep my options open.
*not that attractive men don’t normally hit on me, but I usually gravitate away from the traditionally attractive types
** because I genuinely enjoy their company even when I know nothing will ever happen due to a work relationship, being in the friend zone, lack of compatibility, lack of chemistry, etc. But It’s always on the table with those types, because you must have mutual respect for any real companionship, right?
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